Healing the Internal Hurt

Pain is inevitable, unrelenting, and certainly upsetting pain is deeply hurtful. As you can see from my first sentence. I am referring to pain as being hurtful. *Keep that in mind.* Each and every time I am met with pain it always feels familiar and yet different and complex at the same time. The difference is what I always find most compelling. I find it compelling because the difference makes me feel as though there is a hidden blessing in exploring and experiencing pain. A hidden discovery worthy of deeper exploration. When the pain I am feeling is different, as of late, I’ve often found myself posing questions to the pain. In hopes to find and locate the source of it… so, often times I ask myself questions like…, what makes this pain feel different to you? Are my surrounding supports different? Are my thoughts different? Is my worldview? These are the four questions that always come up for me. And through each life experience, my answers are certainly different which in turn means I’m different and forever changing. Different in a positive and meaningful way, that allows me to meet my pain with curiosity as opposed to frustration or judgement. I’ve come to realize the older I get, through more of the life experiences I have the more I am able to reflect and better piece together what stages of my life my pain has differed in a meaningful and multifaceted way. And yet, in the last few days,as I began reflecting and finding meaning in the questions I was asking myself. A fifth question came to mind… one I had never encountered Before…. “Why does this emotional pain keep finding me?” As to say to the universe, “ok! That’s enough now! I’ve had my share…, move onnnn!” And the more and more I’ve sat with that question many of times, the more and more I’ve felt new feelings come up, new thoughts and ways of thinking. that said, to spare all the boring details… I will share one major take away thus far and that was this… “all this time, I’ve continued to meet my pain with reluctance, resistance, and resentment. As opposed to inviting the pain in to stay awhile. To stay so I can then explore and find understanding and intrinsic meaning of the pain and why it’s causing such internal strife and hurt. Emotional pain and hurt is just unprocessed unexplored deep rooted and seated emotions that need air, light, attention, room to breathe, to take up space, and pain also deserves compassion. So, once we start exploring the hurt from a place of curiosity the more insights and self discoveries we can unearth and tap into. The more that is unearthed the more we can see ourselves fully and deeply. And who doesn’t want to see themselves more fully and deeply? I know I do. So, explore the hurt and in turn you will be exploring and important facet of your inner self. The self that needs to be heard the most. Please check out the accompanying guided mediation for this week, I personally loved it! Once you complete the mediation, you better certainly take that pen to paper and use the reflective prompt below to write out those thoughts and feelings about your inner pain and hurt as a Black woman and a survivor all things challenging and difficult.

Reflective Journal Prompt:

It’s always left me in awe how often emotional pain can hurt and cut just as deep and often times even deeper than physical pain. And often times emotional pain can be so deeply rooted that it manifests physically as well. Our brains and bodies react and feel every bit of an upsetting, gut wrenching, heart tearing emotion that is trapped within. That said, bring to mind your inner pain. Begin to reflect on and answer the following questions, does this pain feel familiar to you? If so, why? How? If it is not familiar, has this pain been brought on by a new experience that has been challenging for you? Explore why the experience has been challenging and painful. Is this pain hurtful to you? If it is, what makes it hurtful? Are there other emotions tied to this pain that make it hurtful? For example Shame, guilt, neglect. That said, the only goal this week is beginning to explore the source of the pain to understand it better. So, it may take a few times completing this prompt until you arrive at a place where you are finally getting to the source of the pain. Take your time. Enjoy the journey.

In gratitude,

A Black Woman Healing Too..

Guided Meditation: The Inner Self

(CLICK BELOW FOR GUIDED MEDITATION)